Developing Godly Marriages

A Suitable Helper

Genesis 2 18The Bible opens up with the story of how God created the world. Each time he created something God said it was good. His ultimate work of art was when he made man in his own image. In other words, our bodies take on the image or likeness of God. He created us to have fellowship with Him. He created us to bring Him honor and glory. However, in Genesis 2:18 we see where God indicated that something was not good.

After creating man, he brought every living creature to Adam and what ever Adam chose to name it that was its name. God didn’t need help naming the animals. He had a purpose for bringing them Adam. Adam needed to understand that among everything God had created, there was not another creature like him. All the animals God had made had both a male and a female. Adam was only a male. He had no female. This is was God deemed as “not good.” His solution was to make a helper for Adam that would complement him in every way.

Ladies, that’s we are: a helper that is a complement to our husbands. God made us suitable for our husbands. We are the proper fit for him. We complete him. The idea is that we are compatible with him. In the movie, “The Holiday,” Kate Winslet plays Iris who is “in love” with a man that is not in love with her. He merely uses her. At one point in the movie she reminds him that he had described them as “a square peg in a round hole.” That is not how God created men and women. Physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, we were made to be the perfect fit to man. We are different than men, but different in a way that makes us well-suited to man. We are not less than man, nor are we better than man. We are suitable to man.

Another concept of being his suited helper is that we are to bring harmony, not discord, to the relationship. If we have a backbiting, nagging, or wagging tongue, we are not being a helper in any way. Our words should build him up, encourage him, and be respectful. We also should not undermine his authority in our homes. In other words, if he tells your teenage daughter she’s grounded, then you don’t go behind his back and allow your daughter to do that which she has been grounded from, even if you disagree with him. If do not agree with the consequences he established, then a calm and respectful conversation between the two of you (not in front of your child) can take place. However, if he does not change his mind, then your responsibility is to back him and help enforce the consequences. In previous posts we discussed that the husband’s role is to be a spiritual leader. If you undermine his authority you rob him of doing what God has called him to be in your marriage. Sweet wife, if we not take too many times of you stepping in and undermining him before he no longer even tries to be the spiritual leader in your home.

Overall, a helper’s job is to make someone else’s job easier. Let me challenge you to make a list of the ways you can be a helper to your husband. Let also challenge you to spend some time in prayer and ask the Holy Spirit to convict you of ways that you may make your husband’s life complicated or even hindering him from being the Spiritual leader he was called to be. If the Holy Spirit reveals any ways you have not been a suitable helper, confess those now and then make a game plan to change those ways so that you are your husband’s suitable helper.

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