Are there clearly defined roles within your home? Who has the responsibility of being head of the house? What does this role look like?
A man died and went to heaven to find two signs above two different lines. One sign said: “ALL THOSE MEN WHO HAVE BEEN DOMINATED BY THEIR WIVES, STAND HERE.” That line of men who had not been the head of the house seemed to stretch off through the clouds into infinity.
The second sign read: “ALL THOSE WHO HAVE NEVER BEEN DOMINATED BY THEIR WIVES, STAND HERE.” Underneath the sign stood one man.
He went over to the man, grabbed his arm and said, “What’s the secret, how did you do it? How did you become the head of the house? That other line has millions of men and you are the only one standing in this line.”
The man looked around with a puzzled expression and said, “Why, I am not sure I know. My wife just told me to stand here.”
Who is head of the house is no laughing matter
We have all heard jokes about “who wears the pants in the family.” But who is head of the house is no laughing matter. During the last few decades our culture has redefined marriage and the meaning and responsibilities of men and women in society and in the home have become as jumbled and tangled up as a bowl of spaghetti noodles. Many men are confused do not know how to to be the leaders God has called them to be in their home. So just what does it mean that the husband is the head of the wife?
Head of the house is a responsibility
Head of the house does not mean male dominance
Being “head of the house” does not mean male dominance. A man should not “lord it over” a woman and demand her total obedience to his every wish and command. She should never live in fear of her husband. God never viewed women as second-class citizens. His Word clearly states that we are all equally His children and are of equal value and worth before Him. If the husband is leading his home in the way God intended, the wife should willingly submit to her husband because she can trust him and know that he is first seeking God and striving to lead his family as God leads him.
Head of the house does not mean the wife is incapable
Being head of the home doesn’t mean the wife is incapable of thinking, choosing, and deciding. She isn’t a mindless, helpless creature. In fact, God created her to be a helper to her husband. We’ve often referred to the woman in Proverbs 31 as the “capable wife.” In verse 10-31, we find that the woman described is far more precious to her husband than rubies. She is a good wife, a home maker, she is wise, charitable, she prepares for the future, she outfits her home and her family in fine linen, she makes and sells clothing, she is strong and graceful, she teaches with kindness, she is blessed by her children and her husband, she fears the Lord. And as a result, she has a husband who is well-known and respected.
God placed the responsibility of head of the house on the husband
Think for a moment about the head of a corporation. The person in this position is in charge of the corporation, making all decisions and the success or failure of the corporation often lies in the abilities of his/her leadership skills. They have the responsibility of growing the company, developing its employees and providing the corporation’s service to its customers with integrity and professionalism.
In a marriage, God has placed the responsibility of being the head of the home on the shoulders of the husband. As the head, the success of his marriage and his family lies in his abilities to lead his family. He has the responsibility of growing and developing his family spiritually and morally. He has the responsibility to care for them, provide for them, listen to them, and lead them to Christ.
Husbands are head of the house and Christ is head of the husband
As a Christian husband, Christ is your head and you should be following His leadership. You should constantly seek His will and direction and then lead your family as Christ leads you. You can’t expect your wife and children to follow you’re leading if you are not following Christ’s leading. When you are not seeking Christ’s leadership in your life, you are more tempted to lead based out of your own selfish desires rather than out of Christ’s will. Selfish leadership is pretty much doomed to failure because it will create contentions. There will be more mistakes that will cause your wife to not trust in your leadership ability. But if your wife knows you have diligently sought direction from God and you are leading your family from that motives rather than selfish motives, she is more likely to willingly follow you, even if it doesn’t match her own desires.
Leading your house from Christ’s leadership of you
The head of the house who is a spiritual has an unconditional love and a willingness to serve
The spiritual leader who leads as Christ leads him will have both an unconditional love for his wife and a willingness to serve his wife. Remember that Christ loves you unconditional, faults and all and you should love your wife with the same unconditional love. That includes grace, forgiveness, and mercy just as Christ shows to you.
Christ was always willing to serve. Even the most lowest of jobs, Christ stooped and did it and He did it gladly because He loves us. God did not give you the gift of your wife so that she can wait on you and serve you while you prop your feet up with the newspaper or TV. You should be as willing to serve her as she should serve you and you both should serve out of a heart of love just as Christ loved and served you – even to the point of death on the cross.
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God, Love and Marshmallow Wars by Julia M. Bruce
What’s Inside God, Love and Marshmallow Wars?
God, Love and Marshmallow Wars is a book that includes 365 daily activities and takes you on a guided journey through Biblical principles about Godly marriage that you can then apply to your marriage, as well as helping you talk through concepts that can help you develop a solid relationship. Inside you will find simple, quick activities that include:
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