by Julia Bruce
I’m sorry. These two words can hold the power to restore broken relationships whether between best friends, married people, parent and child, or humans and God. And yet, when someone keeps saying the words but behaviors never change, it doesn’t take long for us to not believe them anymore. They may very well be genuinely sorry on some level. Maybe they’re sorry they hurt another person. Maybe they are sorry they let someone down. Maybe they’re just sorry they got caught. However, if they are not actually sorry for the behavior, the behavior will not change.
2 Corinthians 7:10 says, “For godly grief produces a repentance not to be regretted and leading to salvation, but worldly grief produced death.” Repentance equals changed behavior and a changed heart. To be repentant means we turn away from a negative behavior and replace it with a positive or godly one (Click to tweet). When we disappoint others or God, we may regret our words and/or actions, but regret in and of itself is not godly sorrow. We all have something tucked away in our lives that brings regret…but we don’t have to live with regret. If that regret leads us to true repentance, we can stand on the promise of God found in Isaiah 43:25: “I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.” If God chooses to forget our sins, then we do not need to live carrying the weight of them around with us (Click to tweet).
From the world’s view of being sorry, someone may feel sorry for something they said or did, but more because it begins to backfire and brings humiliation or punishment. It carries with it pride and a strong ego. It regrets action that places comfort and safety in jeopardy. It regrets losing the praise of men, making man rather than God the criteria of guilt. In comparison, godly repentance brings humility and a brokenness over what was said or done. It recognizes that words or action has wounded God’s ego rather than its own and grieves that it brought disgrace to God’s name. While worldly grief focuses on self, godly grief focuses on God. Godly grief is the result of allowing God’s Word to reveal and expose the sin in our lives as we recognize that our sin is a disgrace to God’s honor. (Click to tweet)
Godly regret is a good thing. It can be painful, but because it brings our sin out into the open, exposing it and makes us confront it, it allows us to see our need for a loving Savior to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Just as a physical pain can warn us of a disease, godly grief warns us that there is sin that needs to be dealt with. If we reject godly regret, we are rejecting God’s invitation to repent and turn away from the sin. (Click to tweet)
Repentance is not the same as grief or regret, but rather the result of feeling regret and grief. So many of us go through life living with regret because we’ve never taken the step of repentance. We can tell God we’re sorry all day, every day. However, God knows our hearts and He knows if we are truly sorry or not. When we are truly sorry, the attitude or behavior that brought on the feeling of regret will change. So while godly grief comes first, the next step is repentance which then leads to a changed heart. A changed heart will produce a changed life and Christ will remember the sin no more. (Click to tweet)
Whether your sin has offended God or your words, actions, attitudes have offended another person, saying, “I’m sorry” really means absolutely nothing without repentance, a changed heart, and a changed life. Once you tell someone or God that you are sorry, the expectation is that something will change. (click to tweet) If nothing changes, then you are not truly sorry that you have done something wrong or hurt someone. You’re only sorry that you got caught or that the comfortable relationship you share with that person is no longer comfortable.
Paul added in 2 Corinthians 7:10 that “worldly grief brings death.” In a spiritual application, worldly grief stops the lost person from repenting and as a result not accepting God’s free gift of salvation that gives eternal life. If we are a Christian and have worldly grief over a sin God reveals to us, we do not lose our salvation but the close, intimate relationship we have with God cannot exist with unrepentant sin or sin that we are not willing to confess. In a life application, worldly grief can bring death of whatever relationship we have with the person we have wronged. In a marriage, it can be the death of the marriage, resulting in divorce. Between friends, it means a severed friendship. Between parents and children, it means the death of trust. Between coworkers it could mean the death of respect.
It nothing more than our own stubborn pride that causes us to hold on to these sins and brings death to our relationships – and it simply isn’t worth it. To live without regret, begin by getting on your knees before God with godly regret and confess your sins with genuine repentance. The moment you do, God will remove that so from you as far as the east is from the west and He will not remember it anymore. Then if your sin has caused offense to another person, go to them and ask them to forgive you. If you are harboring a grudge, bitterness, or resentment towards someone, you need to confess it to God and ask the other person to forgive you. Whether they say they will or not, doesn’t matter. You are only responsible for seeking the forgiveness. If they choose to not forgive, then they have a sin problem they need to confess. You can pray and ask God to reveal to them that unforgivness is a sin and you can ask Him to help restore the relationship. Even if they have no trust in you at all due to your behavior not changing previously, live a changed life that is the result of a change heart and they will notice. Repentance can bring life back to the relationship. It might take time, especially if you have said “I’m sorry” over and over again and continue doing the same thing. However, they will notice. Even if they never forgive you, keep living the changed, repentant life because God will notice and he knows if your sorrow for your words, attitudes, actions are genuine or not. Choose godly sorrow that leads to salvation and eternal life. Choose to surrender your pride and seek God’s forgiveness so He will remember your sin no more.
#verseoftheday #Heblotsoutmytransgressions #Godfortivesandforgets #WCM
If you would like to be a part of the God-sized dream we call Wellspring Christian Ministries, you can help with your one-time or monthly tax-deductible contribution. Now, with two ways to give, you can help us grow and expand our ministry. To donate to our general ministries, you can now make a contribution through our website. We are also seeking the perfect 200 (or more) acres of land on which we will build and do the various ministries God is leading us in. To make a donation towards Phase 1 of our Land and Building campaign, you can give at buymeacoffe.com. We like to think of ourselves as “Distributors of Living Water” …and for just the cost of a copy of coffee, you can be one too through your contribution that will have an eternal impact as we lead others to Christ, help Christians develop passionate relationships with God, and help couples connect and reignite their marriages. Who knew the cost of a cup of coffee could do so much? Donate today to become a Living Water Distributor
You can also make a contribution to our general ministries as we grow and expand our ministry as God leads through our website. To donate to our ministry expansion, click here.
- Every gift will be acknowledged on our “Donor Wall” on our website. Just leave your name the way you wish it to appear in the message box as you make your gift.
- Every $50 will receive a free signed copy of Julia’s book, “God, Love & Marshmallow Wars”
- Every $500 or more gift will receive the “God, Love & Marshmallow Wars” Couple Event for their church with Julia’s speaker fees waived (host site is still responsible for travel expense and other costs of the event).
Wellspring Christian Ministries is a 501(3)(c) non-profit organization.
Thank you for helping us grow!
#growingintoourfuture #fundraiser #buymeacoffee #WCM
BOOKING NOW to be a host site for the NEW God, Love & Marshmallow Wars Book Tour & Couples Conference:
This event helps couples understand why the daily activities found in the book will equip them to build a stronger marriage and the book provides them with 365 intentional activities to take what they learn at the event and apply it on a daily basis. Through the event, couples will discover the Biblical “why” behind the categories of activities found in the book and the “how” these activities are important to building a stronger marriage. Focus points of the event includes :
- How memorizing scripture together and studying God’s Word together as they study, meditate and apply scriptures related to marriage and life issues will help them develop marriages that honor God.
- Why utilizing fun conversation starters that spark meaningful conversations will keep interest alive as they continually learn new things about each other.
- Why keeping romance alive is essential to intimacy and connectivity.
- How making memories and working together builds relationship investment bonds and how these investment bonds can become the knots that keeps them together through the tough times.
- How they can understand what they are or are not contributing to the marriage as well as how they might be contributing to problems or potential problems within the relationship through the use of targeted, intentional personal reflections
- Why it is important that couples never stop dating and how group dates with Christian friends can be both an encouragement and accountability to their own relationship.
During the event, couples will be given an activity from each focus point to do together, making this event an interactive, fun, and engaging event with practical, hands-on learning. Unlike other couple events that are over when the event ends, couples who attend the GLMW event will be able to apply what they learn when utilizing the book on a daily basis for a year. Since the book is not dated, couples are able to reuse the activities year after year to continue being intentional in strengthening their relationship with each other and with God as they strive to live out God’s design for marriage every day.
Learn more about hosting this event at your church or conference site by clicking here.
About the book: The GLMW book contains 365 daily challenges for couples to strengthen their relationships to each other and with God. Couples will complete activities such as Scripture memory, conversation starters, relationship builders, learning about Biblical marriage, romance builders, personal reflections, and date ideas. Click here to purchase your copy. (This link will open a new widow and take you to Westbow Press’ bookstore.) It is also available at Christian Book Distributors, Amazon, and Barnes & Noble
#GLMWcouplesevent #GLMWbook #intentionalmarriage #Godlymarriage
T-shirt Fundraiser: We have a new product line of Christian apparel and accessories available in our Teespring Store and our new Spreadshop Store. You’ll find tee shirts, hoodies, tanks, socks, leggings, tote bags, mugs, iphone cases and more.
All proceeds go to the advancement of Wellspring Christian Ministries.
Thank you for helping us grow!
#fundraiser #tshirt #teespring #spreadshop
Looking for a speaker for your next ministry event? Julia is now booking for 2019 and 2020 Christian events for women’s and couples’ ministries for both small and large events.
Book with us now.
Julia is CEO of Wellspring Christian Ministries, a non-profit organization dedicated to helping people and couples develop a passionate relationship with God. A public speaker, conference trainer, event planner, and blog writer, Julia is a two-time graduate from Grand Canyon University with a bachelor in Psychology and a masters in Professional Counseling. Saved as a child and raised in church and in a Christian home and private Christian School as a Pastor’s kid, Julia has taught Sunday school, led music, played the piano, served as Children’s Director, and engaged her gifts in many other areas of church life. Previously employed with the Florida Baptist Convention, Julia organized events and led conferences for church ministry assistants.
Julia enjoys sharing her journey as a growing Christian with others looking for a deeper connection with God. Through Bible study and her own life experiences, God has given Julia a passion to help couples understand God’s design for marriage while they learn to place God first in their marriage, cultivate meaningful relationships, build intimacy, and address the tougher issues that come in every marriage so that they can experience a marriage that honors and glorifies God. Julia also loves mentoring, teaching, and working with women to help them learn to live as Godly women.
With her history and experience growing up in both small and large churches, Julia enjoys bringing top level quality events to churches of all sizes. Her father largely pastored small churches and therefore she understands that these vital parts of the believing community need to be good stewards of the resources God provides them with. This knowledge inspires her passion for being available with a fresh perspective for those who want to provide their congregations with meaningful spiritual growth opportunities, regardless of size.
#JuliaBruce #speaker #keynote #author