Lead By Example

by Julia M. Bruce, MSPC, Mental Health Coach,
CEO, Wellspring Christian Ministries

I remember as a little girl walking around in my dad’s shoes. They looked a lot like the ones in this photo. His shoes were huge on my tiny feet and they would clunk around with every step. They were very hard to keep on and constantly fell off. He also used to let me stand on the tops of his feet while he walked around holding on to my hands. I can also remember him letting me sit up on top of his shoulders. It’s probably something lots of kids do. But as an adult, I think about the example both my parents set for me and my sisters. 

Dad had some really big shoes to fill, but hopefully he would be proud of the woman I have become. In thinking back to those very long ago days, there are some lessons to learn from dad’s really big shoes, standing on his feet, and sitting on his shoulders.

Lesson 1: Shoes that are too big clunk around and easily fall off.

If you are a parent or leader in any capacity, be sure that you lead in such a way that it fits those whom you are leading. If your leadership is so floppy and loose that no one knows the boundaries and expectations, you set them up to fail. (Click to tweet) 

If you leadership is floppy and loose, you and those you lead will experience frustration and resentment, which leads to a lot of complaining, behavior problems, temper tantrums, talking back, disunity, destruction, scattering, and disrespect. Kind of like the loud clunking sound of dad’s shoes falling off my feet with every step.

Because there is no respect for you as a leader, your team falls apart or your kids start rebelling. What little bit of leading you try to do, just falls off like a pair a greatly over-sized shoes. Because there are no clear boundaries or expectations, there will be arguing and fighting. The team spirit will be destroyed, along with harmony, teamwork, and respect. Everyone will scatter off to their place with hurt feelings, anger, and bitterness. They will resent you and each other as their expectations are not not met.

Every leader must give an account to God

In Jeremiah 23:1, God says, “Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture!” In this verse, God is referring to the priests and prophets who led Israel astray from God’s commandments through false teachings. However, I think we can apply it to anyone who is responsible to lead others. Every leader must one day give an accounting to God for how they lead. Big, floppy, loose leadership is lazy leadership and does not honor God in any way. In fact, in big, floppy, loose leadership, everything just falls off and leaves behind a big mess.

Lesson 2: Walking on Dad’s feet means I go where he goes.

Doesn’t that give new meaning to the children’s song, “O be careful little feet where you go?” If you would not want to lead your child where you are going, then you shouldn’t be going there at all! (Click to tweet) 

If you are a church leader, then it’s like every person in your congregation is standing on your feet and going where you take them spiritually and you have the responsibility to divide the Word of Truth correctly – without sugar coating it or preaching just the happy parts that everyone wants to hear.

As a supervisor, your team stands on your feet and they go where you go. You can lead them to success and meat goals or you can lead them to the destruction of the team and maybe even the company. If you lead with integrity, they will most likely work with integrity. If they see you disrespect and speak rudely to clients/customers, then they will be more likely to do so as well.

God will hold us accountable for where we lead the people He has placed in our lives to lead. Titus 2:7 says, “Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned.” As a parent or leader, every thing you do or say is being watched and learned. If you are a “do as I say and not as I do” kind of leader you can expect that those whom you lead will do as you do more than they will do what you say. Where are you leading them – because they are walking on the tops of your feet and going where you go.

Lesson 3: At some point, you have to stop walking on someone else’s feet and follow God’s plan for your life

Another thought for leaders from walking on dad’s feet is that if I only ever walk on his feet, then all I will ever know is what he knows. (Click to tweet)  

I have to get down off his feet and find the path that God has for me. I was not made to walk his path. God has a purpose and plan for me and I have to walk that path or I am living out of His will. We need to lead with integrity, dignity, and sound speech, but we also have to allow those whom we lead to grow and develop into what God would have them be.

Paul mentored both Timothy and Titus. In fact, in everyone of Paul’s letters, he was mentoring, instructing, and training the churches and church leaders. Paul wrote in Philippians 3:17, “Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us.” He didn’t train them to be miniature-look-alike Pauls. They may have been called to ministry like Paul, but they still had a separate mission from Paul. They were to imitate him, but not be identical to him.

People you lead can’t spend their entire life walking on your feet.

The people you lead can’t spend their entire life walking on your feet. It’s cute when a toddler does it….not so much when that toddler grows into an adult. You need to be preparing them for the day they step off your feet and onto the path God has for them. Besides if you carry them around all the time, the weight gets really heavy and your feet might fall asleep. Hold their hands and carry them as they are learning, but then you have to tell them to get down and take the path God wants them on. It doesn’t mean you have to stop mentoring them. But you do have to let them fulfill the plan God has for them – not the plan God has for you.

Lesson 4: Sitting on top of Dad’s shoulders gave me a whole new view of the world

My dad was just over six feet tall. What I saw of the world when up on his shoulders was a very different view from my short, toddler height. As leaders we influence and shape the worldview of those whom we lead. The people you lead come with all kinds of different life experiences that shape how they see and view the world. Some of them may come from Christian homes and some may come from very different, horrible life experiences. But as Christians leaders/parents we have a responsibility to show them something different. Sometimes, you need to let them sit up on your shoulders so they can see over all those life experiences and see Christ instead.

1 Timothy 4:12 says that we should be an example in word, conduct, love, spirit, faith, and purity. When we live Christ-like lives day in and day out, model godly living, and allowing our light to shine, it’s the equivalent of letting them sit up on your shoulders so they can get a different view – one that includes grace, mercy, unconditional love, and forgiveness of sins.

Lesson 5: When you grow weary and tired, it’s nice to have someone’s shoulders

Let’s face it. We all get tired at some point. When my dad would life me up and carry me on his shoulders it was often because I was tired of walking on my own little feet. Some days we have to talk ourselves out of bed. Other days we have to talk ourselves into just putting one foot in front of the other. The weight and cares of this world are exhausting. Don’t be afraid to be the kind of leader that picks a person up and carries them for a while. We do this by praying for them, showing genuine empathy, extending grace, encouraging them, and being a good listener. (click to tweet) 

Galatians 6:2 says, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” No load is as heavy when two people are carrying it. So lend your shoulders when they are needed.

The Blessing of Godly Examples

My dad is in heaven now, but what an example he was and my mother is for my sisters and I.

In 2 Timothy we learn that Timothy had godly examples to follow in his grandmother and mother. Because of their influence on his life, Timothy would grow up to work with Paul and eventually pastor the church at Ephesus. These two godly women taught Timothy the boundaries and expectations that God outlined for godly living.

They carried him on the tops of their feet as a child, taking him to church, reading the scriptures to him, and training him in all the ways of God. When the time came, they scooted him off their feet, well prepared for the task God had for him – even in the midst of the church being persecuted.

They gave him a worldview that included God as creator and Christ as Savior. Since his father was Roman and not Christian, he probably was exposed to some other worldviews too, but the one that stuck was the one where his grandmother and mother carried him on their shoulders so that he could see Christ over all the other worldviews trying to claim his attention.

Leading a church in the midst of the church being persecuted had to be difficult and tiring work. Outside of the short verses in 2 Timothy 1 where Paul commends Grandma Lois and Mother Eunice, there isn’t much else said about them. I am sure that they prayed for Timothy daily and Timothy would have known they were. But Timothy also had Paul. And the books of 1 and 2 Timothy are Paul’s letters to Timothy. These letters represent at least some of the time where Paul carried Timothy on his shoulders – encouraging him when he was tired and weary.

Think about who might end up wearing your shoes one day

Whether you’re a parent or supervisor or leader in any capacity you need to think about who might be standing there wearing your shoes one day. Jesus said in John 13:15, “For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.” If those whom you lead did just as you did, would that be a good thing or a bad thing? (Click to tweet) 

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