Posted on Leave a comment

How often should we forgive?

Sisters of Mercy

Psychologist James Dobson reports seeing a sign on a convent in Southern California reading: “Absolutely No Trespassing — Violators Will be Prosecuted to the Full Extent of the Law.” Signed, “The Sisters of Mercy.” Seems like these sisters need to be reminded that God expects us to forgive.

God created a way to forgive us

God knew before He ever created Adam and Eve that man would trespass against His laws and commands. As violators, our trespasses (or sins) deserve to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of God’s laws. Yet unlike the Sisters of Mercy, God is a God of compassion and mercy and He created a way for our trespasses to be forgiven us through the shed blood, death, and resurrection of His only Son, Jesus.

If God can forgive us, why is it difficult for us to forgive others?

If each one of us trespass against God’s laws on a daily basis (and we do!), and God can forgive us, how much more should we forgive people that we interact with? But when we truly understand Christ’s sacrifice on the cross, we realize that we have no right to withhold forgiveness from others. Unfortunately, our emotions don’t always line up with what we spiritually agree with, and while we see that forgiveness is central to God’s plan for us, it is far from easy.

Choosing to forgive does not remove the pain.

We need to understand that forgiving someone does not remove or excuse the pain that person caused. When Stephen was sentenced to death for proclaiming his faith , the Bible says, “While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” Then he fell on his knees and cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” When he had said this, he fell asleep.” (Acts 7:59-60) Stephen’s pain was real, severe, and it would cost him everything. As J.D Greer says, “in that moment, Stephen decided that Jesus’ approval was better than life.” So we start there, we ask ourselves is it Jesus’ approval we want more than anything or does desire for vengeance keep us from seeing the face of our Savior?

Refusing to forgive sows seeds of bitterness

It can also be difficult to forgive when we live daily life with reminders of the hurt or wrong done to us. Reminders, consequences, and memories can be used by Satan to establish a foothold of bitterness. In those moments, we must choose, yet again, to love as Christ loves, to take the thoughts captive, and choose not to dwell in the pain. In those moments, we must remind ourselves, “I can forgive, because I am forgiven.”

Forgive 70X7

During the time of the disciples and Jesus, the rabbis only required their student to forgive someone three times, so Peter was being generous when he offered to forgive seven times in his question to Jesus. Jesus replied with: not seven times, but seventy times seven. So for those of us who are math challenged – that equals 490 times. But the implication to what Jesus was saying is that forgiving others should be unlimited whenever there is true repentance.

When we refuse to forgive others, God will not forgive us

Jesus was very serious when it came to the teaching that we are to forgive others. In Matthew 6:15, He taught: “But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Forgiveness isn’t always easy. Sometimes we have to start all over and forgive again and again. The bigger the hurt or wrong, the harder forgiveness can be. But if Jesus can forgive me of my greatest wrong, then I can forgive others who have wronged me.

If you find forgiving difficult follow these ten steps:

  1. Acknowledge the hurt or wrong.
  2. Be honest about how you feel – even if you think you shouldn’t feel like you do.
  3. Put yourself in the shoes of the one who wronged you. If you have difficulty with this then think about a time you needed to be forgiven and how you felt at that time.
  4. Remember that God forgave you and that He commands us to forgive others.
  5. Let go of the pain. Stop playing the offense over and over in your mind. Don’t rehearse the feelings of pain, loss, disappointment, etc.
  6. Spend time in prayer – especially when your emotions do not agree with forgiving. Ask God to change your heart towards the person that wronged you.
  7. If possible, voice you forgiveness to the offender. If you can not do this face to face, try writing a letter.
  8. Continue to forgive. Each time the memories of the wrong resurface, you may need to forgive again. Do so quickly and pray about the situation again.
  9. Pray for the person that wronged you. Even if it is not possible to restore the relationship, you can pray for them.
  10. If possible, do an act of kindness for your offender – even if done anonymously.

If forgiveness is difficult, consider what it cost Jesus

Whenever offering mercy and forgiveness is difficult take a moment to visualize what it cost Jesus to be able to offer you forgiveness and don’t be like the “Sisters of Mercy” who would prosecute to the fullest extent of the law. Matthew 7:1-2 says: “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.”

Revive Renew Redeem logo on self-care post

The Valentine’s Collection

Beloved Collection: This Valentine’s Day, let your spouse know how much you love them. Based on the Bible Verse, Song of Solomon 3:4, the bottom line reads, “I have found the one whom my soul loves.”

I have found the one whom my soul loves: Based on Song of Solomon 3:4 

God’s Plan: God’s design for marriage is one woman, one man Woven into oneness with Christ – this is God’s plan

Greatest Valentine’s: On Valentine’s Day, we celebrate love and there’s no greater love than Christ who laid down His life so that we can have eternal life. Includes John 3:16.

Here are some of our favorite designs

  • Revive Us Again, Lord

Need some music to get you through the day? Check out one of our Playlists on YouTube

Click here for the Contemporary Christian Playlist
Click here for the Southern Gospel Playlist
Or Click here for the Hymns Playlist

You can also watch our animated devotionals on the YouTube Channel

God, Love and Marshmallow Wars by Julia M. Bruce

What’s Inside God, Love and Marshmallow Wars?

God, Love and Marshmallow Wars is a book that includes 365 daily activities and takes you on a guided journey through Biblical principles about Godly marriage that you can then apply to your marriage, as well as helping you talk through concepts that can help you develop a solid relationship. Inside you will find simple, quick activities that include:

  • Scripture to memorize and meditate on.
  • Conversation Starters.
  • Concepts from the Bible on Godly marriages.
  • Romance Builders.
  • Relationship Builders.
  • Personal reflections.
  • Date ideas.
  • Group date ideas for you and other Christian couples.

Available in hardback, paperback and ebook from Westbow Press Bookstore, Amazon, and Barnes & Noble. Click the icons below to purchase from your preferred bookstore. Now also available at WalMart online.

WestBow Press logo

Bible Studies, Bibles, Books & More

Christianbook Distributors logo
Everything Christian for less!

Looking for a Bible Study, Bible, book or Christian gift? We are an affiliate with Christianbook Distributors and receive an 8% commission on any item purchased through one of our links. However, the commission never increases your cost of any item. View some of our favorite items by clicking on the logo and thank you for supporting our ministry.

Christianbook Distributors Search:

Wellspring Christian Ministries receives an 8% commission on any purchased made from Christian Book Distributors through any affiliate link on this site. Your price for any item is the same as purchasing from CBD directly.

Here’s some of our recent posts.

A non-profit ministry located in Jacksonville, FL 

Follow us on:

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is FB-logo.png
This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is linked-in-logo-1.png
This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is twitter-bird.jpg
This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is instgram-logo.png
This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is pintrest-logo.png