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Couple Challenge: Memorize & Discuss

302

If we are busy dwelling on the list found in this verse, we probably would not have much time to dwell on things we shouldn’t. On paper, list each of the things that Paul says we are to dwell on. Next, beside each one, write an example of something that would fit that category. We probably can all say that we have considered each one of these at some point in our life, but to dwell on something means that you think about it and talk about it frequently. The expectation is that these are the things we constantly dwell on. Look through the list and circle the ones that you dwell on consistently. What are the things that might draw your thoughts away from your anxieties? How can you focus your mind and thoughts to dwell on things from this list? To sum up the list, God is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, and commendable. He is the standard for moral excellence, and He is worthy of all praise. So let your mind dwell on Him.

Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable – if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise – dwell on these things. — Philippians 4:8

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Couple Challenge: Memorize & Discuss

295

We can put on faces and wear masks, and it isn’t difficult to do so with people that don’t know us that well, but the people who do know us see through the masks and see the real us. In 1 Samuel 16:7, God tells Samuel not to look at the outward appearance of man because God looks at the heart. The heart tells us what a person is really like without the masks we wear.

Discussion:

  • How does a heart reflect a person?
  • What does your heart reflect about you?
  • What does your heart reflect about your marriage?

As water reflects the face, so the heart reflects the person.
— Proverbs 27:19

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Couple Challenge: Memorize & Discuss

288

Discussion:

  • Why is sin unavoidable when there are many words?
  • What types of sin may come out of “many words”?
  • Why is the one that controls his lips wise?
  • Which are you most like?

 

When there are many words, sin is unavoidable, but the one who controls his lips is wise. — Proverbs 10:19

 

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Couple Challenge: Memorize & Discuss

281

Peter is not telling women that we should not care how we look. Instead, we should not emphasize outward appearances. God doesn’t care if we wear expensive name brand clothes and have the latest hairstyle. He doesn’t care if we have the biggest diamond or perfectly matched accessories for our outfit. There is no sin in wearing these things, as long as they do not put us in a financial bind or stop us from being able to give a tithe. When these kinds of things become more important to us than our relationship with God, then we make these things idols, and that is definitely sinning. What God is concerned with is inside us, and Peter says that a gentle and quiet spirit is an imperishable quality that is very valuable in God’s eyes. Discuss together what a gentle and quiet spirit looks like and determine if these are qualities you possess or identify areas that you need to work on.

Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold ornaments or fine clothes. Instead, it should consist of what is inside the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes.
1 Peter 3:3-4

 

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Couple Challenge: Memorize & Discuss

274

We make snap decisions and judgments every day. We judge the way a person looks, dresses, how they perform a certain task, the way they drive in rush hour traffic, the way they style their hair, the way they talk, and even the color of their skin. We judge them for how they live their life and try to see if they measure up to our standards. The question is what is the rule of measure we are using? Are we seeing if they measure up to our own expectations or God’s?

Matthew 7:1 cautions us to not judge others because how we judge them is how God will judge us. Have an open, honest discussion, in love, about the ways you have judged each other. If these judgments have caused harm to your relationship, seek forgiveness from each other and God. Leave passing judgment to God and just be concerned if your own life lives up to God’s measure rather than judging each other.

Do not judge so that you won’t be judged. For with the judgment you use, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. — Matthew 7:1-2