Every person comes into a marriage with expectations. When those expectations are not met, we become disillusioned and disappointed. The end result is we regret getting married. Being honest and realistic about our expectations is important and open communication is the key to understanding expectations. If there are unfulfilled expectations in your marriage, talk about them and determine if they are realistic expectations or not. If they are, what can you do to work towards meeting them?
Delayed hope makes the heart sick, but fulfilled desire is a tree of life.
— Proverbs 13:12 (HCSB)
Take a moment and consider all the ways you feel your spouse “completes” you and make a list.
Did you know that is was never God’s intention for your spouse to “complete” you? When we become focused on our mate to complete us, we place unrealistic expectations on him/her. Since we are only “complete” in our relationship with Jesus Christ, trying to place your spouse in that place makes him/her an idol. Beside each item on the list that you made, search out a Bible verse that talks about how God meets that need. Confess any ways you’ve made your spouse an idol and begin looking to God to fulfill those areas. Take a few minutes to share your lists and the verses you wrote down with each other.
Origami helps let us let go of self-judgment and perfectionism. It can be used in psychology for people who struggle in these areas, as well as other areas. If we are too judgmental of ourselves, put unrealistic, high expectations on ourselves and always strive for perfection, we put a lot of stress on ourselves, as well as on our spouse who can end up feeling like they can never live up to the expectations you set. Underlying perfectionism, one often finds anxiety and a lack of self-acceptance that drives one to seek perfection. The irony to perfectionism is that one often ends up feeling like a failure, for none of us is perfect. As a result, perfectionists are prone to experience panic attacks, irritability, and depression.
The truth of God’s Word says in Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (NKJV). As you work to fold the paper into various origami, discuss how you might have allowed perfectionism and unrealistic expectation in yourself and in your marriage become a way that does not promote a healthy mindset in you and a healthy relationship in your marriage.