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Like Mother, Like Daughter

by Julia M. Bruce, MSPC, Mental Health Coach,
Keynote Speaker, CEO, Wellspring Christian Ministries

She’s just like me

As a mother of a daughter, I’ve heard the saying “like mother, like daughter” more than once. Especially since my daughter is a mini-me. I’ve lost count of the times people tell me she looks like me. When she was little, my dad often said it. I denied it. His solution was to take one of my daughter’s pictures and one of my pictures at the same age and put them side by side. He scanned them together and emailed them to me. Yes…we look exactly alike. Our hair was even combed the same way! The only way you could tell they were not the same child is by the very outdated (but pretty) light green dress I wore in my photo. She enjoys telling people she is a mini-me.

Like mother, like daughter. Have you ever had a parent say something like, “when you have children, I hope you have one just like you?” Usually, it is said because what we are doing in that moment is not good and the intention behind the saying is to make us think about what we doing and then change our behavior. Most of us have those things in our past that were mistakes we do not want our children to repeat and live through the same or similar painful consequences we did. So if we want to avoid the “like mother, like daughter” syndrome and not pass down our waywardness to our children, we need to be sure we are modeling a Christ-like life.

Like Mother, Like daughter: What if she acts just like me?

Looking like me is one thing. But what if she acted like me, made the same mistakes as me? Used the same words I do? If you are a mother of a daughter, you probably cringe at the thought, just as I do. We’ve all made mistakes, said things we wished we could take back, or done things we wish we could get a “re-do”.

As a mother, we need to be cognizant of the idea that our daughters are learning about life from us. They are also learning about God from us. But we are not her only “teachers.” Our daughters are learning about life from the world, her friends and peers, and Hollywood is teaching her about life. She learns about other religions from the outside world. She learns about life through social media. And now that she is grown with a full-time job, she learns about life through work and co-workers.

We have the responsibility to give our daughters a strong foundation so that when the world steps in, she won’t be pulled and sucked into the chaos of the world. Hopefully, what my daughter learns from me will speak louder into her life in a positive way than the world and those around her. If she is going to be like me, than I don’t want to look at her life and find regrets because she learned something negative from me.

“Like Mother, Like Daughter”

Did you know this “saying” is actually scripture? Ezekiel says that it is a proverb that will be used against us. In today’s words, we might say it will come back to bite us. As we grow, mature, and become more spiritually mature, we might look back at the mistakes we made and the bad choices and fear our daughters will be just like us. But when we align ourselves with Jesus and live godly lives, our daughters learn what it means to live godly lives. If we want our daughters to live like Jesus, then we must live like Jesus. We can’t tell our daughter to “do what I say, not what I do.” Actions always speak louder than words. So everyday, I must ask, “What are my actions speaking into my daughter today?”

Pray over her – daily

As my daughter has grown into young adulthood, I tell her ” be smarter than mom. Learn from my mistakes so you don’t have to learn the hard way.” Mostly, I pray over her everyday. Her grandmother prays over her every day. I pray for the Holy Spirit to lead and guide her through life, to show her God’s will for her life, and to open her ears and minds to the truths of God so that they will be louder than the lies of Satan. Regardless of your past mistakes, you too can pray over your daughters.

To not Fear the “like mother, like daughter” Syndrome, be a Godly Example

You can also model Godly behavior. Be the person you want your daughter to be. Use the words you expect her to use. Dress like you want her to dress. Teach her Godly morals and values by living out Godly morals and values. Teach her how to be a wife and mother by the way you live out being a wife and mother. Children learn from how they see us behave. If you want church to be important to her, than make sure church is important to you. If you want her to have a relationship with Christ, then let her see you live out your relationship with Christ.

I want my daughter to see her mother as a woman that honors God, follows Him faithfully, and loves Him beyond measure. What does your daughter see in you?

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Satan is constantly trying to trip us up and he doesn’t even play fair because he uses our own desires as bait to get us to sin. James tells us the five steps that lead us down the path to sin in James 1:14-15, “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” This download helps you identify your desires so that you can better recognize when Satan is baiting you and you can avoid falling into sin. When used along with prayer, asking the Holy Spirit to identify the desires that Satan baits you with, you can then ask the Holy Spirit to help you not become a victim to the bait of your desires. Download the worksheet today.

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What’s Inside God, Love and Marshmallow Wars?

God, Love and Marshmallow Wars is a book that includes 365 daily activities and takes you on a guided journey through Biblical principles about Godly marriage that you can then apply to your marriage, as well as helping you talk through concepts that can help you develop a solid relationship. Inside you will find simple, quick activities that include:

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