Today’s Verse: 1 Corinthians 11:3

Who’s in charge?

by Julie Bruce

If someone were observing your family, would they be left asking “who’s in charge ?” In 1938 Abbott and Costello performed on a radio show a comedy skit entitled, “Who’s on First?” Most of us have seen or at least heard the skit and chuckled along with it. However, in our homes, it isn’t quite so funny when we don’t know our roles and where we belong within the family unit. God ordained order within the home to ensure healthy functioning of the family unit. But when we don’t follow God’s plan for the family, both outsiders and members of the family are left wondering who’s in charge.

When the kids are in charge

We’ve all seen those homes where the kids rule the nest. They are loud, defiant, rude, stubborn and disobedient. They talk back, stick their tongue out, cross their arms and dig in their heels and refuse to budge. The parents have no control whatsoever.

When Momma’s in charge

Then there are homes where mom is in control. Dad works all day then comes home to pick up the paper or watch television or play a video game leaving mom to deal with the kids, clean the house, cook, do the laundry and whatever else might be going on. She makes all the major decisions for the family and dad just goes along with the plan. The kids might be more in line (sometimes), but it still is not a home that honors and glorifies God.

Daddy’s in charge- but he’s controlling

Another type of home finds the husband in control, but the wrong kind of control. He’s the one the wife and kids are scared of. He rules with an iron fist and you go along with his way or pay the consequences. He’s controlling, manipulating, abusive physically, emotionally, verbally, and maybe even sexually or financially.

Daddy’s in charge- He’s good, but not God honoring

However, not every husband who takes the lead role in his family is abusive. He may be morally good and protective of his family. He provides for them and helps parent the children. He’s a good husband and father. Yet even this home is not honoring God.

Who then should be in charge in the home? I’m glad you asked. 1 Corinthians 11:3 has the answer. Paul writes to the church at Corinth these words:

“I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.”

The key: Everyone submits to someone

The principle behind Paul’s words is submission. Everyone submits to someone, except God. God ordained submission so that the homes would run smoothly. Otherwise, we’d have nothing but chaos, anger, bitterness, competiveness, and arguing. If you notice the chain in Paul’s writing, the woman seems to be at the bottom of the chain of command so let me say that submission is NOT surrender, withdrawal, or apathy. It does not mean that we girls are inferior.

When God created men and women, he made us in his image and that makes males and females on equal ground. One is not better than the other. Both have equal value in God’s eyes. Instead, submission is more about a mutual commitment and cooperation. There is no need for women to compete with men or men to compete with women. God expects men and women to submit as equals. We submit by choice as we willingly serve God in the roles he designed for us. However, for a home to function, someone has to be in charge and when the man does not fulfill his God-given responsibility, many times wives must step in and serve her role and his. So then, what is the husband’s role?

The Man who is in charge and honors God

Husbands who are spiritual leaders lead through sacrificial love

Husbands are to lead their families through sacrificial love. Ephesians 5:33 says that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. How did Christ demonstrate His love? He gave his life. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.(Romans 5:8) Even when we were still covered in sin, at our absolute worst, vile, repulsive, Christ loved us enough to die for us. (Ladies, you should not love your husbands any less…just saying!) If you are to love your wives as Christ loved the church, then you need to make sure you have experienced that love for yourself. You can’t give away what you have not yet received.

Husbands who are spiritual leaders lead their families to Christ

Husbands should also lead their families to Christ. Guys, you have the responsibility to be a spiritual leader in your home. After all, God’s purpose for marriage is to make us more like Christ. Christ often referred to the Church as is bride. So as Christians, our marriage should be a picture of Christ and the Church. As such, the head of the husband is Christ and he should be your #1 priority. Your 2^nd priority should be your wife and your marriage. Your third priority should be your children. Then your job and providing for your family.  

Husbands who are spiritual leaders have an intimate, thriving relationship with Christ

There is no way you can lead you family the way God has called you to if you do not have an intimate, thriving, growing relationship with Christ. Do a self-examination right now. Where are your priorities? What do you give them most time and attention to? What do you nurture, develop, and look forward to everyday? If your priorities are out of order, what do you need to do to get them where they belong? What commitments do you need to make? Do you have any idols that you need to get rid of? You can’t lead your family to Christ if you’re still trying to get there yourself.

The home that operates as God designed it

Take a moment to imagine what a home would look like if it operated in the way God designed it. How does that look different than what your family looks like now? What changes need to happen? What would it take for your wife to trust you enough that she could willingly step back and trust you to lead your family?

Here is what she needs:

• Your wife needs to know that you are daily seeking wisdom from God in every decision you make.
• She needs to know that you are opening discussing decision with her, listening to her input and genuinely considering her opinions.
• She needs to know that the decisions you make are for the good of the family and not for your own good.
• Your wife needs to know that she can rely on you, depend on you and that you would not do anything that would knowingly bring harm to the family.
• She needs to know that God is the first priority in your life and she is second.
• She needs to know that you are loyal and committed to her.

But gals…you are not off the hook either. In order for men to stand up and lead they need something from us:

• Your guy needs to know that your first priority is Christ and he is your second.
• He needs to know you trust him in the decisions he makes
• Your husband needs your encouragement
• He needs you to pray for him
• If he does make a mistake, remember he’s human and we all make mistakes. Don’t bring him down or wag your finger with all the “I told you so” comments. Instead, hug him and tell him you love him then dig in and fix it together.
• He needs your support
• He needs your respect

Take some time ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you the ways you are living outside your God-given roles. Ladies, do you need to willingly and cooperatively submit as an equal to your husband? Men, do you need to submit to Christ? What can you do right now that will help you submit to who’s in charge?

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This book includes 365 daily activities and takes you on a guided journey through Biblical principles about Godly marriage that you can then apply to your marriage, as well as helping you talk through concepts that can help you develop a solid relationship. Inside you will find simple, quick activities that include:

Couple activities include:

• Scripture to memorize and meditate on.
• Conversation Starters.
• Concepts from the Bible on Godly marriages.
• Romance Builders.
• Relationship Builders.
• Personal reflections.
• Date ideas.
• Group date ideas for you and other Christian couples.

Available in hardback, paperback and ebook from Westbow Press Bookstore, Christian Book Distributors, Amazon, and Barnes & Nobel. Click the icons below to purchase from your preferred bookstore. Now also available at WalMart online.

 

Look for the GLMW Group on Facebook.

Join the community of couples on Facebook who are committed to intentionally growing their marriage and learning how to have a marriage that honors God. Here you can post photos of the different activities as you do them, ask questions of other couples, share how God is using this book to strengthen your marriage, and grow with other Christian couples. We’ll see you in the community.

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Today’s Verse: 1 Samuel 12:24

As for me and my house

As Joshua began stepped into the shoes of Moses to lead the nation of Israel, he recognized that the nation had a problem. That problem was wanting to be like everyone else. Their problem was clinging to Egypt. Their problem was having other gods before the God. And in Joshua 24:15, Joshua stands before the people and says “And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” He not only led his household to serve the Lord, but as man of God, he called his nation to serve the Lord.

A man of God

Joshua was a man of God, hand-picked by God to lead Israel into the promised land. Why was Joshua chosen? Because he chose to lead himself and his household to serve the Lord. He was a spiritual leader to him family. He recognized the God-given responsibility to lead his home to worship God. Joshua understand that the idols from the other nations were nothing more than stone or wood carvings made by the hands of man. They did not have life or breath. But our God is a living God who desires to have relationship with the people whom He created. He is the God who created the universe with just a few spoken words. He is the God who holds the universe in order.

A Man of God is different than the world

Being a man (or woman) of God means we are different than the world. We don’t want the same things the world does. Paul wrote to the church in Rome, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:2) As a man or woman of God we have been set apart. Psalm 4:3 says, “But know that the Lord has set apart the godly for himself.”

A Man of God is leaves the former things behind him

Being a man or woman of God means that we leave the former things behind us. All the ways of the world that were a part of us before becoming a child of God should not continue to be part of our life as a child of God. When Israel left Egypt, they had been in Egypt about 430 years. They had become enmeshed with the culture and society of Egypt, including the gods worship by the Egyptians. Many of us have problems with change, and clearly Israel did too. Despite all the wonders and miracles God did to bring them out of bondage and slavery, they still tried to cling to the life they knew in Egypt. Let’s face it; setting out to a new life and new land where you don’t exactly know where it is can be unsettling. Even though they were slaves, they knew that life. What we know can become comfortable, even if it isn’t what we desire.

A Man of God exchanges his idols for the living God

The same was true about their beliefs in God. The God of Abraham had somehow become forgotten and traded for the gods of Egypt and Israel had a hard time letting go of worshiping idols and give their hearts totally to the God. We can become guilty of having idols too. We make idols out of relationships, careers, hobbies, money, possessions, and much more. Whatever becomes more important to us than our relationship with God becomes an idol. So we need to allow the Holy Spirit to convict us of any area in our lives that we have given a higher priority to than God and confess it and then place God back as our highest priority.

A Man of God fears God

Fearing God is a reverential fear. It is a sense of honor and respect. Fearing God includes trusting Him, even in difficult times or when we can’t see God at work in our lives. Obedience and complete submission to God is also required in the person that fear God. The person who fears God is more likely to keep their word, which makes him or her trustworthy to others. And the person who fears God loves God with all of his/her heart, mind, soul, and strength. He/She also, then, loves his neighbor as himself. The Spiritual leader leads his home to know and fear God through family worship and prayer. He models what “fearing God” means and lives it out as an example for his wife and children.

A Man of God serves God faithfully

If you consider yourself a man of God, then how do you serve Him? Are you actively involved in your local church body, faithfully attending and serving God? Are you ensuring that your family is in church and participating in the ministries of the church?

If you are a child of God, then God has a specific plan for you to serve Him. You have been uniquely created with gifts and talents to do exactly what God wants you to do. Do you know how He wants you to serve Him? If not, you need to discover that and get busy faithfully serving God before you expect your family to faithfully serve God.

A Man of God serves God with all of his heart

How do you feel when Sunday rolls around? Is going to church an obligation or do you look forward with eager anticipation to worship God with other believers and go with a heart prepared to heard a word from God? When the church is seeking someone to fill a ministry position, are you eager to volunteer if you feel God leading you to?

If we all did so, then there would be no ministry holes within our churches. God places each one of us within the body for a specific cause. When we do not step into the task God has for us, it creates a hole within the church’s ministry. When we step into roles that are not ours to fill, we rob another person of fulfilling their God-given task. Yet, whenever we serve, we need to remember that God knows the motivation of our heart. Do we serve out of duty? For the recognition? Or for a heart that serves God out of love and worship?

A Man of God serves God considers the great things God has done for him

Whenever we don’t take the time to consider all the wonderful things God does for us, we can begin to forget them. Then when difficult times comes we become focused on the problem rather than all the times God has been faithful to us before. As a spiritual leader in your home, you should openly acknowledge the great things God does in your life and in your family. As you do, you teach your children to recognize God at work. Then be sure to lead your family to thank and praise God for all that He does for you.

Following Joshua’s example

A man of God is a spiritual leader in his home, just as Joshua was. Joshua didn’t just decide for himself to serve the Lord, he determined that he and his household would serve the Lord. As a spiritual leader and man of God in your home, you should lead by example as you model, fearing God, serving Him faithfully, and considering the great things God has done for you and your family. Then lead them to worship and thank God for all that He does in each of your lives and in your family.

As a spiritual leader, the man of God fears God, serves God faithfully, and considers the great things God has done. He models this lifestyle for his family and leads them to worship and thank God for what He does for them. — Julia Bruce

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We have Christian tees, face masks, mugs, bags and more!

Here’s what’s new in the shop this week

Here are some of our favorite designs:

What’s Inside God, Love and Marshmallow Wars?

This book includes 365 daily activities and takes you on a guided journey through Biblical principles about Godly marriage that you can then apply to your marriage, as well as helping you talk through concepts that can help you develop a solid relationship. Inside you will find simple, quick activities that include:

Couple activities include:

• Scripture to memorize and meditate on.
• Conversation Starters.
• Concepts from the Bible on Godly marriages.
• Romance Builders.
• Relationship Builders.
• Personal reflections.
• Date ideas.
• Group date ideas for you and other Christian couples.

Available in hardback, paperback and ebook from Westbow Press Bookstore, Christian Book Distributors, Amazon, and Barnes & Nobel. Click the icons below to purchase from your preferred bookstore. Now also available at WalMart online.

 

Look for the GLMW Group on Facebook.

Join the community of couples on Facebook who are committed to intentionally growing their marriage and learning how to have a marriage that honors God. Here you can post photos of the different activities as you do them, ask questions of other couples, share how God is using this book to strengthen your marriage, and grow with other Christian couples. We’ll see you in the community.

904.239.8937
A non-profit ministry located in Jacksonville, FL 
Follow us on: